So, I'm not so sure about this anymore.
I got another reply from the editor and Pure Slush. And, while several of his suggestions are really helpful, most of them are about altering my voice and style. I'm not sure how normal that is, because I'm so new to all this.
Here's are two examples from his edit:
"“Where are we eating dinner, again?” I whispered to Ian / I asked Ian under my breath. I seemed like Julia had given Ian more details. (I don’t think what you have written works. It would be much better just to say you said this to Ian. Some things just cannot be written without being clumsy or over-written. Even putting it as a question would work better: Had Julia told Ian the details? But really, straightforward is best.)"
"“Uh,” then she said something I didn’t understand. I tried to work it out in my head. ‘Bead-um’ is all I heard her say. While I internally ran through every food or type of food that started with the letter B, Ian productively narrowed it down. “Rice, vegetable, fish, soup,” Julia continued to Ian. (this is not chronological. You have written a chronological story BUT this paragraph is not written chronologically. Plus, how would you know Ina was responding more productively when he then says nothing about it? This works better:
“Uh,” Julia said, then added something I didn’t understand: ‘bead-um’ is all I really heard.
I sat back against the leather / plastic / vinyl and ran through every food or type of food that started with the letter B: b_____, b_______, b______, b________.
“Rice, vegetable, fish, soup,” Julia continued.
We already know she is answering Ian. To say this again in unimportant, unless you are feeling excluded.)"
So, he's not only making suggestions, but actively rewriting here. I don't think he intends to overstep, I think he's genuinely trying to be helpful. I"m just not sure that his editing style works for me. I'm afraid I might lose a lot if I go after this. I mean, it's not even paid. Maybe Pure Slush isn't a good fit for me.
But, what do you think? Comment or email me at youknowcasey at gmail dot com.
Here is what I think. You most likely will not be a paid writer for Slush, not because they don't want you, but you won't want to be under this editor. But who knows, stranger things have happened. Anyway, I say go for this, use it as a learning experience and follow the process. You are not being paid but being published sure looks good on your resume. Call this a stepping stone in your writing career. I am sure every writer out there has a story like this when they first started and throughout their career. Keep your original story of course for later use. I know when you look back on this you most likely will be glad you did this. When you write your book you will most likely be looking for a editor that fits your style, but for this first time out of the gate you should take the leap, even if it goes against your grain. But, just so you know I love the story in it's original draft.
ReplyDeleteBTW, have you come across any of the books by Rudolf Flesch? These are the best books on writing clearly that I've come across. I think the best one is http://www.amazon.com/Art-Plain-Talk-Rudolf-Flesch/dp/0060321903/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1310262806&sr=8-4 which is out of print I think, but you can get it used. Also, Zinsser is good. And, of course, it never hurts to keep looking at Strunk & White, but Flesch is far more informative.
ReplyDeleteHmm, seems blogger is not smart enough to automatically make a url into a link. Well, you can cut & paste.
ReplyDelete